*clap cap*

Hi everyone, welcome to the official opening of the Criticism Wet Market !

*clap clap*

I'm the kiam chye store vendor and you all can call me Uncle Kiam Chye !

*crowd: yooohooo*

Ok, well this market is rather special. Why do I say so? Because not only we sell fresh vegetables, we love to criticise people too !

Yea. We see, we experience. We unhappy, we criticise !

Ok, as I was saying, our main thing is to criticise, but we talk crap too. We including all the people that live here are all uncles and aunties. All never receive much education, then what you all expect us to talk other than gossip and crap? Haha and before the lion dance performance, I want to criticise someone first. Yea the first victim !

This morning as usual, I went to Unity Secondary as the chinese food vendors have been ordering kiam chye from me for the past 3 years plus. Walk halfway I felt like my bladder going to burst, cause maybe I drank too much water, so went up to the second floor to find wash room. (my son taught me this. he said toilet is for low-class people. high-class people should say wash room) I happened to walk pass a class, which I think is 4/5 and just then I heard a lion ROARED ! What the hell, my urine all squeezed out due to the fright. So very embarrassing, immediately ran to the wash room like an ostrish. -.- Luckily nobody notice. After than I sneeked into 4/5 and when that teacher left (is a female.), I took out my wet market micophone (it was wet because I never wipe my hands after washing my hands. -.-) and interviewed a guy named Fang Bright. Although I don't quite understand his english, think he is from China, I roughtly can tell. He said that female teacher whose name is Mrs Jelly Chua, shouted at a guy called Daryl just because he went outside the class to discuss about re-taking his Chinese O levels paper ! What the hell? She embarrassed him in front of the whole class due to such a minor matter? What kind of teacher is she. Fang Bright also said that she scolded him beacuse she wanted to talk about the English O Level stuffs, which will take place later on, but was there a need to shout? See now my shorts smells bad with my urine. Erm I found out quite a bit about this lady from the chinese food vendors. They said this teacher has very hot-temper and do things very impatiently. She would shout at anyone any time, any place, even it is a minor matter. She doesn't give a damn about others' feelings. She only cares about herself. She just wants to teach finish what she is suppose to teach and thats it, get her salary and ruin the students future with her suck to the core teaching styles. This includes 4/5 maths teacher Mdm Ng as well.

Her teaching styles simply sucks. She don't know how teach. Keep on giving the pupils other schools' test papers means the way to success? No ! Even me never receive much education knows that. She thinks her jokes are funny. She treats her pupils like kids by giving them sweets. HELLOO ! They are Secondary 4 now ! 16 years old and you are still treating them with sweets? Is she teaching kindergarden or something? What a childish person. And pupils of 4/5 told me that she got long straight black hair which look exactly like a ghost. She wants those that are poor in maths to go for night class from 7 to 9. Does she knows that now is the 7th month? She wants to scare people to death? Even during the day sometimes I take my kiam chye to the cafeteria, I saw her and I don't even look straight into her eyes. That spooky look gives me nightmare. Or should I just call her spookly Ng?

Okok WAKE UP ! The market is open now and everything will be Free-of-Charge !